What?

I don't understand how I work. Sometimes, I have the lowest self-esteem. I know I am not unattractive, but sometimes my mind still works like it used to before I completely changed.
I really like one guy, but don't desire a relationship with him. However, when he mentions that he doesn't want a relationship, I get really upset. <DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
Then there is this other guy that likes me, and he's cool. HE wants a relationship, but yet again, I do not.
I turned him down.

I turn 99% of people down.
what the.

Finals

I fucking hate my life. 27 hours of studying for chemistry. 27 fucking hours and I was still raped by that final.

Everything went better than expected.

I realized I have 2 A's. That means that I have A's in 50% of my courses.
thank bajeezus.

Everything is Crap.

This semester hasn't been my best. Besides being at the most difficult school basically anywhere, causing my grades to be crap, I also had to sell my car. Besides selling my favorite car I've ever had, my little dog was hit by a car and killed. If that's not enough, I just find out today that Sammie, my German Shepherd of 10 years, is dead as well.
All I want to do is go home.

Care

I do tend to receive some crap about how I don't care much; how I'm not sensitive enough. Well. Do you want to know what I care about?! Here we go.
1) My immediate family. Without my dad, I have no idea where I'd be. Without my mom, I'd probably be an angry ball of anger :P. Without my sisters, I wouldn't have an accurate perception on life.
2) My friends. I'm harsh and I speak my opinions, but I only want to protect them from doing the wrong things. I understand that many of them look to me for answers, so I always want to help. I learn from their mistakes and I try my best to keep them out of harms way.
3) Dogs. I have the most sensitive spot for dogs. Sammie, my German Shepherd, was the MOST difficult dog to tame. She was angry, she was aggressive and she was completely out of control. My mom wanted to give her up and I fought for her with everything I had. Sammie may have been a little wild, but she was loyal. She still is! Then, there's bear. She was so deathly skinny that my family all thought she would die the first night we had her. Now she's fat, dumb, and happy. Then, lastly, there was olli. This little, unexpected puppy came into our lives and grabbed onto our hearts. There was suddenly a huge gust of happiness that our family hadn't experienced before. We gave her the best two years of her life and, unfortunately, her life was cut short by a car incident.
4)Cars. My dad has three girls and his one passion is cars. Being the last child with two older sisters (one mentally challenged and the other suffering from middle-child-syndrom), I was obligated to help my dad in the basement garage. Through this, I learned so much about cars and became infatuated with them. I can proudly say I'll never get ripped off at an auto-shop :P
5) Music.

Slim Jim

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Fact. If I were skinny, ugh, my life would be complete. I want to be a size three. I want a flat stomach. I want a well-defined face.
I felt small during the summer, but as this school slowly kills me, I feel bigger and bigger. Thankfully, I haven't gained any weight.

I still want to lose some though. That'd be nice. Maybe be 117 pounds?! Thats 8 less than right now :)

OY

Errone is all studying and such. And I'm just chillin' like LAWLFOURDAYWEEKENDFORTHAT.
It makes me a little nervous. Well, starting wednesday I shall begin studying for my three finals. oh yay.
In other news, I have the new (new!?!) Drop Dead, Gorgeous album and I feel like a little emo again. (//-)
^yep. that about does it.